Mental Blocks in Training

When I was a kid I was told that when a man beats up a puppy, no matter how big and powerful of dog it will grow to be, it would still fear that man. Although I’m not certain about the truthfulness of this statement, I’m pretty sure the same happens to us too. If we have negative experiences with something, it might shape our notion of it for a long time.

When I first started poling, I discovered my hands and feet were abnormally sweaty, more than regular grip aids can handle. I had Mighty Grip gloves so I could grip with my hands, but my feet were still bare. It didn’t bother me until we started learning The Cupid. That foot on pole point of contact made sure I stood no chance in sporting a beautiful floating Cupid.

I avoided it as much as I could. The closest I got to working on the Cupid was when I revisited the ankle on pole variation. I nailed that bad boy down with the less usable grip, long after I nailed much more advanced things, and kept on avoiding Cupids.

A lot have changed since than, but in my head Cupid was still the big scary man that would beat me up.

Fear is the mind killer.

Last week I trained with a lovely instructor named Julie. Julie, as I heard before had a sweaty hands and feet problem as well, and I have seen her compete Pole Expo’s Pole Classic competition. I’ve also seen her online tutorial on a cool transition from Cupid to De Janeiro, and was happy she chose to teach it that day.

When she spotted me, the Cupid was the hurdle I couldn’t get over. I asked her how did she do it, and she said that I didn’t had to stay in the Cupid, just enter it and bend back to catch the pole. I realized that more than my actual ability to do it, it was a mental block I had in my head which prevented me from getting it. I was perfectly able to put my foot on the pole, and catch it behind me as my foot was sliding off. My brain was the one that’s preventing my from going there, because once upon a time when I was a clueless little beginner, I couldn’t do it.

I’m all about figuring out fears and actively working on them to be able to succeed in my training. Fear is a big part of many moves on pole, and rationally addressing it can be very effective. What dawned on me is that there is another type of fear, the one that you don’t know exists, the one that hold you back without you being aware of it so you don’t even know you need to fix it.

On Saturday, in the contortion workshop I take, we were warming up our backs with simple backbends, working our way up towards the mighty chest stand. We did assisted drop to bridge, which I felt awful about and I was doing my best to contain my frustration in. I was almost holding back tears, yet I refused to understand why.

Back bending is, or at least used to be, a hard uphill battle for me. My back was never flexible, my shoulders got even tighter because I haven’t stretched them for the first year and a half of my pole training. Everything about it was hard and frustrating, and I failed to enjoyed it like some flexy people say they so. I was still too stubborn, so I never gave up. I wanted that Cocoon, and that Crescent Moon and many other pretty things.

But when we moved on to the chest stand, I was at the grown ups’ mat, holding it and calmly working on deepening it. No frustration, no pain, no tears held back, just doing it. Chest stand was one of the things I thought were too advanced for my stiff back so I haven’t touched on it before much. Until this workshop.

Until I practiced a new back bend which was free of my biases.

Until this one instance with the Cupid where I realized mental blocks were a thing.

Until I realized I wasn’t a beat up puppy anymore, I’m a huge ferocious hound now.

These back bends got nothing on me. This is not a problem I can’t train through. Once I can free my mind from this notion, my body will be capable to go there. This makes me feel pumped to get back to my backbend training. Feel empowered.

I’ll keep looking for more mental blockers in my training, and undo them one by one.

2016 going to be amazing.

Private Session with Kristina Nekyia

I had the biggest honor to do a private with my flexibility guru, and it was so insightful for me. Unlike many stretching classes where all I had to do is endure the pain, in her private I actually had to work hard and it wasn’t painful to the least.


After a short warmup we started with a little bit of hamstring stretches. Since hamstrings are (only) the area I had no trouble with, we went over it pretty fast. She did corrected my back rounding and told me to keep my waist small. This cue kept coming up during all my leg stretches.

Hip Flexors

Now, hip flexors are entirely a different story. I let her know I’m having trouble with gaining flexibility in my hip flexors and we focused on that area a lot.


First we over the kneeling lunge and how to do it properly with a hip tuck. She told me that my left side, which I consider my bed side, was actually my better one. “There’s no such thing as bad side”, she told me, “only good and better sides”.

This came as a totally surprise to me because I genuinely believed my right side was more flexible, and how could I miss something so obvious? She explained that it tends to open up more, giving the illusion of being more flexible. When she made me poke the muscle in my hip it was bone solid, and I asked her jokingly “what, it’s not my hip bone there?”.

I’m still not 100% sure that my other side is better, in terms of flexibility at least. It is better aligned and stays more square, but maybe it does that because it’s more inflexible in that aspect too?

Glute bridge with a leg crossed over

The next exercise she suggested had to be done with a yoga block which we didn’t have.  The exercise is to go into a glute bridge position and place a block at the small of the back. Place the ankle of one leg on the knee of the other and engage the outer hip muscle to open the knee to the side.


Next we did the butterfly pose, when I had to engage the outer hip muscles again to get the knees to the floor. First facing forward, then towards each side while still trying to create space away from the hips and not crunch into them.

I didn’t get a chance to ask her, but these two exercises she gave me do not seem to target the hip flexors directly. I’m vaguely aware there’s a connection between hip flexor and external hip rotation flexibility, but I’m still not 100% understand what’s going on.

Middle Split

Kristina had a prepped talk on this topic. She explained to me that when we go into middle splits, our inner thigh muscles feel responsible to keep our legs from falling off so they tighten up. If I wanted to do a middle split, I need to have someone else to do that for them, so that they can relax and lengthen. That someone else is the outer thigh muscles, and gaining flexibility for middles is directly related to strength in the outer thighs.


First stretch on the topic of middle splits was sitting straddle. The most important (and hard to execute) cue was to engage the outer thigh muscles the entire time. It was hard to pin point and engage that exact muscles even when Kristina was poking at my butt.

First we did side bends to each leg, shoulder to floor and keeping the chest open toward the ceiling while reaching the top arm towards the foot. After bending towards each side, I lowered down into the pancake, where the out thigh engagement is most critical, and experienced my first painless pancake even. My inner thighs stop resisting and it was glorious.

Middle split

Next came the actual middle split. She had me lowering down in the middle of the room, from a wide straddle with hands on the floor in front of me. The outer thigh engagement was critical here, and she advised me to back up as soon as I lose it. If you go so low that your outer thighs can’t support you, your inner thighs kick in, which is counter productive.


I’ve done the shoulder rehab workshop with Kristina in PoleExpo, so there wasn’t a whole lot to add. She did break down the internal/external shoulder rotation by tracing two lines: The inner line runs from the thumb up to the pecs while the outer line runs from the pinky up to the lats. Slouching and lack of proper shoulder alignment comes from relaying on/overusing/misusing the inner line, while actively engaging the outer line opens up the chest and engages the back for better flexibility and more strength.

Pec stretch

“How do you stretch after a pole workout?” She asked me. I obediently went to the nearest wall, and leaned my arm behind me, admitting I don’t feel much of a stretch.

She moved me away from the wall and instructed me to bend me knees slightly, put my arm up and turn away with my head, other shoulder and chest. After a while, I move the arm to a 45 degree angle and then horizontally. She instructed me to push into the wall then try to relax the inner line and engage the outer line. My pecs never a better stretch.


Although shoulders are instrumental for many backbends, hips are quite important as well. I wanted to think I was mindful of my hips, and trying to extend them when doing backbends, but in reality Kristina kept correcting my posture over and over again, made me engage my lower abs and downstairs butt to actually achieve that desirable hip extension. I actually have a photo evidence of how hip extension helps you get a better backbend, but I’ll save it for a separate post.


After a short warm up of cats, cows and rolls I started easing into back bending with some Cobras. Instead of pushing right up, Kristina made me start the arch by tucking the pelvis, lifting the head up, sliding the shoulders down, then the chest with hands off the floor and only then push up little by little while maintaining that initial upper back engagement through the outer shoulder line.

I did all this while she kept reminding me to use my downstairs butt and teased me how my belly still touches the finger she stuck under it. I was amazed at the amount of muscle engagement I was missing in my cobras, and the resulting invigorating back and chest opening that happened.


My back felt fairly ready so jump straight into bridges. I complained about feeling restricted in my shoulders and arms, especially when doing the chest to wall bridge. Kristina made me align my shoulder before pushing up, by pushing up to the crown of my head, making sure my shoulders are parallel and engage the outer line. Keeping that engagement allowed me to open my chest more and push more comfortably forward (and up) when I was up.

Kristina also made me do the first steps towards standing back up to bridge. She said to get the arms towards the feet and not the other way. I was able to walk my hands a little bit, but I’m not too close to actually standing up yet.

Drop to Bridge

Last but not least came dropping back to bridge. I’m no where near it, but Kristina said it would be a great exercise for upper back articulation and control. Starting with the hands on the pelvic triangle, suck in belly and push ribs forward. Drop the head back, shoulders down. Engage outer line to open the chest and start bending upper back backwards. To come out, use the abs and bring the head up last.




2016 Goals


  • Aerial Twisted Grip Handspring
  • Twisted Grip Deadlift
  • Full Cocoon
  • Splits on the pole

Weak Areas

  • Spin pole
  • Floorwork
  • Routines
  • Freestyle
  • Dork side


  • Flexible shoulders!
  • Flat front splits on both sides
  • Flatter middle split
  • Flat Pancake
  • Comfortable chest to wall Bridge
  • Chest stand
  • Superman bridge pole hold
  • Scorpion Pose
  • Standing splits


  • Handstand Deadlift
  • Freestanding Handstands
  • Getting into Elbow stand without a wall


  • Compete
  • Do instructor training

In more words

I feel a little stumped with my pole training. Every trick I didn’t nail requires either requires a great deal of strength or flexibility. So I feel that in the meantime I need to revisit the things that I already know, smooth them out, connect them together in longer combos and use them on spin pole.

I feel like I need more dancing, playing with the tricks I know, coming up with routines or parts of routines to the growing collection of songs that I have. I want to do a floorwork of the day, and work an easy floor move\transition at home every day, expand my transitionary and explore movement in general.

I also need to be more pro-active with my flexibility training. I’m not sure how my back is going to love an additional training each week, but surely I can do more with my leg flexibility, not to mention my shoulders .

So bubble butt routine should be back, along with outer hip work and hip flexors flexibility, plus some shoulder work from Fit & Bendy’s new Shoulder School DVD. More home pole and adding home handstand practice.